Men Love. Women Survive.
82The Man
When a man falls in love, his world is literally turned on its edge. There is nothing that he will not do for his woman. He will change jobs, change his clothes, leave his friends, change religion, stop talking to his relatives, and he will probably move to a new city.
A man jumps into his relationship with both feet. He is 100% committed to loving his woman. He goes to work, and all day he thinks of his love. He cannot wait to get back home to be in her presence, to kiss her, to hold her, and to make love to her.
He will climb the highest mountain. He will raise up armies for her. History has shown that he will even kill for love. A man loves a woman so much, that he will put her first in his life. She is his priority. She is the reason he wakes up early and deals with his asinine boss. He will do whatever it takes to make sure that his woman is taken care of.
I will interject here with the following statement: not all men love perfectly. However, their love is perfect. The love they feel for their woman is pure. It is real. Nothing in this world is more real than the love a man feels for his woman, when he is truly in love. He will cry for his woman if that is what he feels he has to do (of course she will hold this against him because a crying man can't protect her). He will die for his woman if that is the only option. He will tear his self apart if he thinks that will make her happy. Some men go as far as putting their wife before their children. No man should ever do this. Spouses are temporary. Children are forever.
A man's love for a woman is intense and unconditional. It is true love.
The Woman
A woman says she loves her man. She says that she will love him "till death do they part". She says that she loves him unconditionally. She says that she will love him whether he is rich or poor. She says that she will "stand by him" no matter what. She says this and she says that, but what she doesn't say is what she really means. Her survival and entertainment come before her love.
Sure, a woman is capable of being attracted to a man. That is not love. She is capable of liking certain things about him. That is not love either. The only love a woman ever feels is for her children. When it comes to man, it's all about "like". She likes that her man is exciting. She likes that he can fix things around the house. She likes that he challenges her. She likes that he will make babies that have a good chance of surviving. She likes that he makes her feel protected. She likes that other women find him attractive; because that means that he is a good catch. After all, nobody likes to eat at an empty restaurant. She likes that he demonstrates an ability to survive and thrive in the world. She likes that she will not go hungry with her man. She likes that he will provide a place for her to live. She likes that with him, she will survive. She likes that he makes her feel like a woman. She likes. She likes. She likes, but she doesn't love.
Love vs. Survival
A man truly loves his woman. A woman, however, is focused on surviving and on being entertained by her man. Most marital problems begin when 1) the man's survival potential decreases (he cannot provide for her) 2) the man can no longer entertain his wife (he becomes boring), and 3) when her survival is threatened (her man has become a real danger to her life.). If neither of these catalysts exists in marriage or in a relationship, then the relationship can prosper.
If the man can provide for his woman, then she might put up with the fact that he is boring, but this will not last very long. She will look for another man, or if she is married, then she will ask for a divorce. Either way she will have another man in her life, one who can entertain her.
If the man cannot provide for her, then she will stay with him if he can entertain her. Most women nowadays work, so she can overlook the fact that she has to use her money in the relationship. The key here is that her man must be able to keep her amused. In the eyes of a woman, a man who can entertain her is often times more valuable than a man who can provide for her. Boredom is not acceptable.
When it comes to men, as long as the woman shows him appreciation and gives him sex, then he won't mind if she doesn't work or if she isn't entertaining. He can get his entertainment from his friends or from watching and/or playing sports. He will cook, clean, wash clothes, and go to work. He will take care of the kids and deal with her live-in mother. He will bend backwards and forwards for his wife, because he knows how to love.
I can already hear the women saying, "Men are not like that." Oh yes we are. The problem is that while a man is busy loving his woman 100%, she is constantly measuring his survival potential and judging him for how well he can entertain her.
Men love. Women survive.
R
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful
- Funny
- Awesome (1)
- Beautiful (2)
- Interesting (1)
CommentsLoading...
I think I am now.... current bf quit his job, took one making far less money, and moved up here to be with me. I am so confused by him since this feeling is foreign to me.
Nooooooo....
I have to disagree as well. I do like your writing and opinion though. It was definitely useful and thought provoking. However, I grew up with a (wonderful - albeit not always perfect) mother, who time and time again (bless her heart) gave up her children for her men, in some way or another.
Saying that, I've had a lot of 'father figures' that did not love her the same, as to do any of those things listed.
I do have hope that maybe you are right, about there being men like that out there; and I do hold hope that women can be better to you than they have been - as this write leaves me to assume you've been mistreated by them yourself.
I don't believe love is something you can or should generalize enough to make rules about. On the other hand, I think people are becoming more and more like robots. We are all morphing into a new form of eachother. Maybe one day, there will be more rule and less exception...
I think there are crappy people of both sexes, and the rest of us are being used and hurt to the point that we don't care anymore and become one of them ourselves.
I agree with you Emmy. When we are treated so poorly, how are we suppose to remain strong willed enough to keep all of our morals, in a world with so few morals left? We only let ourselves get hurt when we are willing to do as others aren't...
As emmy1980 says, this isn't a gender divide there are people of both genders who match the women you describe.
I hope your future includes a woman who will show you how wrong you are in this.
Ok agree and disagree. My fiance is not like the man you have described here. He is all about work and do what he wants to, and yes he does cook every once in awhile, but he won't if he really doesn't want to. I have to stay home and take of my daughter, which he doesn't see very often. He barely took care of her when she was born, so now is really no different except I saw "watch her" if I want to get a shower or something. He will also NEVER give up anything for me, even if he says he will. I tried once but it back fired on me. I dont ask for much really, but I guess it's too much for him.
Your article is very good, and very interesting even if I don't agree 100% with it.
I have to say that I think your article paints a woman that has no mind of her own, and has no will of her own and needs a man to survive. A woman, in this day an age, can survive. She doesn't need a man to keep her in the lap of luxury. The way I see it, women love just as strongly as men. They will do anything for the man they love. Women may not love perfectly but their love is perfect. We need to be careful when we say we love someone. It's easy to say "I love you" but when it comes down to proving it, we run away. Why? Because what we felt wasn't love. Call it like, lust or whatever but if you are not willing to give your life for the one you love then you are not in love. When you see your man/woman and can't see his/her faults, that is love. When you look at him/her and see nothing but the best, that is love. When no matter what happens in life, you are right there by his/her side, that is love.
We confuse love with other emotions. Being in love means that you are with that person through thick and thin. No matter what obstacles life throws your way, you will stay with this person because you can't imagine life without him/her. That is love.
Hell if I know. I never did understand that famous quote. If man/woman isn't IN love with husband/wife then said spouse should divorce. Simple as that. I guess you can love lots of people but being in love is the hard part. If you are IN love, then one will never cheat no matter what he/she is missing from the marriage. Communication is key to any relationship.
Problem with people is that they use the term love too easily. Just because you say I love you doesn't mean you really love someone. Love is unconditional. Anyhow, being in love means you will do anything for that person and not being in love means you will do the bare minimum for your significant other.
Damn, are we jaded or what? Love has so many layers and until we can get to the last layer, we will never know if what we feel is love or not.
You all are right,but i wanna ask a question can a man who never provide for you when you guys are engaged provide and take good care you when you are married??
I think the back and forth between you and Beichy holds the key to the problem, A man can make his wife feel very emotionally bereft, by acting coldly towards her, ignoring her, belittling her, etc, etc, etc, and she will still long for that connection with him, but if she has low character or lack of self will, will seek that connection in other arms. I'm certainly not making excuses for that behavior, but women are weak in that way, and must stay carefully away from male "friends" when they are in such a position.













emmy1980 Level 2 Commenter 8 months ago
Have to disagree. I have definitely loved a man to the point I would risk my life for him, just the same as I love my children.
Naturally, both times I have felt that way, it was not reciprocated. oh well.
Still looking for the guy who loves the way you describe.